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Keeping The Romance Alive While Talking Money

May 29, 2020


Money is a double-edged sword. Having money gives you the possibility to make choices, but it also can be the cause of many problems, if you haven’t created a healthy personal relationship with money.

Did you know that:

  1. Money problems are cited as the number 1 reason why couples fight.
  2. Money problems are also the second leading cause of divorce, after infidelity.

Creating a solid relationship, whether you be married or not, takes time and patience. It doesn’t matter how much you love and adore your partner merging your lives together and your money can be challenging.

I have been married for a long time, over 2 decades and one thing I swear by is that our finances are combined and have been from the day we got married. 

You see the basis of any relationship is trust and if you can’t combine your finances, how can you combine your life. That doesn’t mean that every dollar needs to be together but what it does mean is that if you are living as a couple in a combined household, then your bills, mortgage or rent payments, and living expenses should come from one account. You can still have your spending money which is like a personal allowance and you can do what you want with that. It is also about not questioning what every dollar is spent on.

Also, your long term goals need to be aligned to your relationship goals and you should be working on this together as a couple. You need to be on the same page, talk about money, dream big, what do you want in life as a couple. You need to connect your individual long term financial goals, you are both on the same journey traveling towards the same destination. Align your relationship goals and your financial goals and watch your relationship blossom. 

Talk about money, have a date night once a month where you talk about your cashflow, how you’re progressing towards your goals, is that what you both still want. Your relationship is a partnership, treat it like that.

Partnerships also require compromise and sometimes that designer handbag, shoes or new exhaust for your car you really want, is not really worth it and it might be better to reduce some of that credit card debt with the funds instead or go towards that big financial goal you are both working towards.

Stop living to keep up with the Jones, stay in your own lane and make your dreams come true. It's better to sacrifice now and work on building your wealth and creating a life of financial freedom than struggling later life when you will have less time and it will be harder for you to create wealth.

Who needs an excuse to celebrate? Celebrate when you achieve a goal, whether it's big or small make it special.

Above all remember how much you love your partner, and be patient. One of you may be an expert in money and the other may need time. Just remember you’re a team and there is no I in team, so work together and make all your financial dreams come true.

Fairien x


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